Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I'm Hanging On

I'm about to kill somebody if I don't get a smoke...I'm counting the hours. Doc said at least 24 hours at least until after my follow up with my regular dentist tomorrow @ 11:30. I am trying everything I can think of to distract myself. I've already thanked DH for moving my cigarettes, I cannot count the number of times I would have lit up by now if they had been in their normal spot.

As far as today's oral surgery goes...18/19 teeth down, full upper and partial lower in. Obviously the more the numb goes away the more I become aware of the discomfort, the places that dig and rub and that both bloody jaws just blasted hurt...can't imagine why.

DH is floored saying that I've been doing things, putting away laundry, putting dishes in the dishwasher, little things like that...pacing because I want a cigarette so badly, trying to drink and eat, and to wrap my brain and my tongue around the new additions... He's saying that when he had his wisdom teeth pulled he was out for a couple-a-few days and obviously expected such from me. Well, SO DID I. I do NOT feel like I'm doing well or much at all.

I WANT to curl up and hide, I want to sleep until all the pain is gone and all the adjustments are made to the dentures (neat trick that would be eh?), I want to be able to speak clearly, to eat anything without playing at being a trained seal with a sardine (chin up to allow said food to slide down my throat, the same way I had to start with the water earlier today...taking meds has been a "delight").

Unfortunately, my daughter is still sick, my husband is still sick, our laundry still needs to be done, I need to pull myself together as quickly as possible, at least get to that point where i can fake it well enough to fool most of the people most of the time... What am I supposed to do? The kitchen will not clean itself, the laundry doesn't wash or fold itself...all the things that have been falling behind because of my teeth or fighting off this stupid "creeping crud 2011". Please do NOT get my wrong. Our home is a disaster. I've not had it well maintained in more years than I care to admit to. I have considered hiring an organization expert to help me out (...which really upsets me because organization IS MY THING!) I've thought about hiring a maid service to help me whip this place into shape so I can do the regular maintenance they do that sort of thing? We will ignore that we do NOT have that kind of money...I just DO have that level of frustration and desperation.

So ANYWAY...maintaining this level of chaos is not as easy as it seems either...which is evidenced by what happens every time I give in to whatever the matter may be, pain, illness, appointments, shopping...or that little Home-Schooling thing...

I think I've lost track of where I was going here....


And I'm not scrolling back up to see it either.

I AM hanging on...and hopefully tomorrow will be better...I'm going to try for sleep to eat up some of those non-smoking hours...

DH pampered me today, he finished making the tea I started, went out and got me pudding and yogurt and ice cream (all stuff they told me to eat at the surgeon's today) and I joked when he was on his way out to the store that cheesecake would fall into that soft smooth food category...He brought me home a cheesecake!!! OMGoodness! He made me mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner and scooped me up ice cream to help with the pain and for something easier to get down...even ice cream is tough when you're playing the trained seal.

Huggles, Faerie

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